How to Stop Feeling Like a Fraud and Escape the Mind-Trap of Imposter Syndrome
Understanding Competence Types and Strategies to Overcome Self-Doubt
Let’s talk honestly for a moment. Have you ever had that nagging voice inside your head whispering, “You’re not good enough” or “They’re going to find out you don’t really belong here”? If so, you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome sneakily steals your joy and confidence, keeping you from seeing the amazing person you truly are. But here’s the thing—you don’t have to let it win. You’re not alone in this, and there’s a way forward.
Today, I want to have a heart-to-heart talk about this mind trap we call imposter syndrome. It’s something so many of us wrestle with, especially when we’re striving to achieve big goals in our careers, relationships, or personal lives. Despite outward success, it can make you feel like you’re just lucky—or worse, a fraud. I’ve felt it too, and I want to share what I’ve learned about it and how we can overcome it together.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the belief that your accomplishments aren’t truly yours—that you’ve somehow tricked the world into thinking you’re capable, talented, or deserving. And because of this, fear and self-doubt creep in, especially when you face new challenges. Instead of seeing your success as a result of your hard work and dedication, you might chalk it up to luck or think it’s just a matter of time before someone calls you out.
How frustrating is that? You’ve worked hard, you’ve learned, and yet your mind convinces you that you’re not enough. Let’s unpack this cycle of doubt and take back control.
How Imposter Syndrome Affects Us
Here’s the thing—imposter syndrome doesn’t discriminate. It can affect anyone, but it’s especially common among women and marginalized groups who face extra societal pressures. This is how it might show up in your life:
You could be overworking, pushing yourself to the brink to “prove” you belong.
Or maybe you find yourself procrastinating, unable to start because you’re paralyzed by self-doubt.
Perhaps you’ve turned down opportunities, thinking you’re not qualified enough—even though you totally are.
When success does come, instead of celebrating, you shrug it off as “luck.”
It’s a vicious cycle, and the longer it goes on, the harder it feels to break. But the first step to escaping this trap is understanding it.
What’s Your Competence Type?
Here’s something truly fascinating—and helpful! Dr. Valerie Young has identified five “competence types” that explain how imposter syndrome manifests differently in different people. Understanding your type can be like shining a light into the dark corners of your self-doubt. Let’s go through them together.
The Perfectionist
If you’re a Perfectionist, you might believe that competence means doing everything flawlessly, all the time. You set sky-high standards for yourself, and even when you hit 99% of your goals, you focus on the 1% you didn’t quite reach. Sound familiar? Perfectionism can leave you obsessing over tiny details, procrastinating out of fear, or even giving up on things that aren’t perfect. Remember this: perfection is an impossible goal. You’re human, not a machine.
What to do: Try to embrace the idea that “done is better than perfect.” Mistakes and imperfections don’t define you—they’re opportunities to learn and grow.
The Natural Genius (this one I personally suffer from most!)
Natural Geniuses feel they have to get everything right on the first try. If learning something new or mastering a skill doesn’t happen instantly, they think it means they’re not good enough. But let me ask you something—when was the last time you saw someone become an expert in something overnight? True competence comes from effort and persistence, not instant perfection.
What to do: Celebrate progress, not perfection. Growth is a process, and every step forward is a victory. (I’m working on it! If and when we chat, ask me how this is going!)
The Soloist (I suffer from this one to a lesser extent.)
Soloists believe success means doing everything on their own. Asking for help feels like admitting failure—so they don’t. But here’s the truth: no one achieves greatness without support. Collaboration isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength.
What to do: Open yourself up to the idea that asking for help means you’re resourceful, not inadequate. Trust me, letting others in makes the journey so much easier.
The Expert
Experts think they need to know it all before they even start. Does this sound like you? Imagine seeing a job listing and thinking, “I can’t apply unless I meet 100% of the qualifications.” But here’s a secret: no one starts as an expert. Growth happens through experience.
What to do: Remind yourself that it’s okay not to know everything. You’ll learn as you go, and that’s part of the journey.
The Superwoman
Supers set impossibly high standards across every area of their lives. They expect to excel in their careers, relationships, parenting—you name it—and often end up sacrificing their own well-being. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
What to do: Focus on what truly matters and give yourself permission to prioritize. You don’t have to be perfect at every single thing.
Strategies for Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Now that we’ve explored the competence types, let’s talk about actionable strategies you can use to break free from imposter syndrome.
Reflect on your achievements: Take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your successes. You’ve earned them!
Challenge negative thoughts: When self-doubt creeps in, question it. Replace “I’m not good enough” with “I’m learning and growing.”
Seek support: Share your feelings with trusted friends or mentors. They’ve probably felt the same way and can offer encouragement.
Celebrate effort over perfection: Remember, progress is more important than an unattainable ideal.
Engage in self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Think of how you’d comfort a friend in your shoes and offer yourself the same grace.
Let’s Support Each Other
You don’t have to tackle imposter syndrome alone. Sharing your experiences can be a powerful way to connect and heal. I’d love to hear your story—what does imposter syndrome look like for you? Have you discovered your competence type? What strategies have helped you feel more confident? Let’s start a conversation and support one another in the blog comments!
Above all, remember this: you’re not a fraud. You’re an incredible, capable, and deserving person with unique talents and endless potential. Let’s remind ourselves of that truth and embrace our worth together.